After posting this, all I wanted was McDonalds. I had a very tough choice to make. Do I go to Zumba or do I eat a McGriddle? I wanted to go head for the Golden Arches – especially because going to a Zumba class (and admitting it) is almost as bad as having a blog.
But I shoved an apple in my face and went to the gym.
After I embarrassed myself and realized I can only shake one of my hips, I decided I deserved a reward for not going to either McDonalds. (Yes I pass TWO on the 4-block walk from my apartment to the gym). As I headed for my 2nd favorite chain responsible for America’s obesity (Starbucks), I noticed a sign in the empty store front next to my gym.
DIRECTLY NEXT TO MY GYM WILL BE A MARTHA STEWART PIE POP-UP SHOP.
I cannot decide if this is the best or worst thing to have ever happened to me. It starts tomorrow AM just in time for me to get in a quick run, a fruit tart, and still meet my friend at 11am.
Oh Martha, I don' think I'm ready for this Jelly.
It was really everything I could do to not press my face against the glass. Hello beautiful!
Last, but not least! What do we think is in there? More apple? Cherry? BLUEBERRY?!?!?!
I don’t always eat fancy food. (Ok, fine, I did last night at www.whathappenswhennyc.com)
There's more to life that foie gras and duck confit and oysters and champagne and Japanese sushi (should we be eating that now?) local organic veggies and raw milk imported cheeses. Now that I'm typing that out, maybe I do not agree with that statement.
Once upon a time, a trip to Taco Bell would leave me beside myself. The Bean Burrito Gods shined upon me once again and it was good. So I know and LOVE trash. In fact....I saw the following photo and almost wept with jealousy.
There are people on this earth...who some how can rationalize eating......
It's like heaven....but twice as big. I don't know that I could physically handle eating this sammie of glory. My head would explode as the angels sang of chorus of "I"M LOVIN' IT!" in 5 part harmony. It's not just one fried patty of mystery fish, covered with factory-produced tartar sauce and cheese made from the milk of rats......its TWO OF EVERYTHING.
I know rationally, the double filet of fish is a way to entice Catholics to eat at McDonalds on Fridays during Lent. And the fact that I know these things is a testament (new) to my Non-Jewish friend(s) from college. Before College was a world of darkness without the Filet o Fish. McDonalds was a place where French fries and a decent fountain soda (then called Pop) lived. And Burger King was closer to my house anyway. One day during Lent, a girl in my sorority brought home a Filet of Fish. At first, I was disgusted because this girl actually smelled like fish much of the time. So the combo of the two threatened the eco-system of my fragile girl world. But she offered me a bite and as I was round with the Freshman 30, I couldn't say no to free, fried food. And as I lifted the sandwich to my retro-Bonnie Belled lips, the lights grew brighter and my life changed.
I went to McDonalds ALL THE TIME. If you're into the results of this experiment - you can read about it here: http://thesaucybits.com/2011/02/something-new-the-sauce-toss/
These days I'm only allowed McDonald's on travel days (planes, trains, automobiles). Which seems silly when you think about the kinds of fatty foods I consume on a weekly basis. But those fatty foods are expensive and "special" and "high-end". If I gave myself constant access to the affordable crack that is Filet of Fish, I know I wouldn't be able to stop. I would have to work at the 24 hour McDonalds around the block from my house.
And then my hair would smell. And then WHERE would I be then?
